A friend of mine was asking me of whether she should move in with her partner. The relationship is good she says for the most part. No relationship is perfect she said. And she is correct. But, she mentioned that she is left so angry sometimes that she cannot focus on her responsibilities due to questionable, stupid things she says her man says at times. Those questionable things she says are his love for her. She says he tells her constantly that he loves her, but when he is upset…its like the love is not there. Guess she never saw how people play with the word love in my last post, but in action contradict their words.
Anyways, back to her. She says he ignores her calls and text messages when he is angry. She went on to mention that several times during an angry outburst he told her he doesn’t care about her or her stupid dog. Then she says when things are good he tells her he wants her to live with him- and how much he appreciates her. My friend has genuine concerns. How can he say he say he loves me, and then tell me he doesn’t care about me when he is upset. Then, expects me to live with him when he is having a happy day. What position would I be in if I drop my home to live with this person who says nasty things that is far from love when he is angry she asked.
I responded that it would be a risky one. Deciding to move in with that significant other is a big move of a deeper commitment. Especially for the person that will be the one dropping all her or his home to move in with their partner. Moving in with someone is no easy thing to just quickly rush into. All things should be considered should you do this. Respect by your partner. Good communication skills, and if this is not present- be prepared that you will be moving out of your partners home as fast as you moved in. Observation is key in a relationship , and that of that partners lifestyle in determining if the moment is right to move in with that person.
Happiness is the key first and foremost. If a person is messy. Shows periodic moments where he or she doesn’t respect you by not just their actions by words…then moving in together should be put on hold. What do you do when you have had a hard day at work? You go home and know you can be at peace in your home.Correct ? Well, you want to make sure that should you decide to move in with that significant other that you do it with care, and not in hasty fashion for a feel good moment.
Many couples feel that they should live together because they have hit a milestone in their relationship, but this kind of thinking is wrong. There has to be clear understanding of expectation of the house-hold upon living together. Respect. Good communication skills, and dealing with all the turbulence of life.
What do you think is important before couples start living together ?